that’s me. and with my daddy having his 68th birthday tomorrow, napapa-senti ako ng di oras. most of you who’ve read my blog for some time know that my dad is suffering from alzheimer’s. it’s really heartbreaking watching him most of the time. he couldn’t recognize any of us anymore. not his wife, not his siblings, not any of his kids. it’s like looking at a stranger.
he couldn’t talk. he couldn’t do stuff any normal grown-up would do. someone should be there to prepare food and watch him eat. someone should be there to ensure he drinks enough water everyday. someone’s giving him baths, dressing him up.
and i haven’t been a good daughter to him since he was struck with this disgusting disease. not once have i tried in assisting yaya or my brothers in giving him baths or trying to feed him. at first, i was scared. he was prone to having violent fits most times. especially when it was bath time. it was as if he was hydrophobic. he’s kick out, punch out, lash out at everyone. so i saw it best not to try to help. all of my 3 kuyas received hits from him. punch in the face, on the shoulder, in the stomach. which is all so unfamiliar. he has always been the soft-spoken, silent one. i think i only heard him raise his voice a couple of times only. i really seldom hear him raise his voice.
nowadays, i always greet him when i visit my mom’s house. but he just stares. that blank stare. he doesn’t recognize me anymore. i talk to him sometimes but it’s like talking into thin air. i miss my daddy so much. and the saddest thing? i wasn’t able to treat him out during fathers’ day or during his birthday. he was too sick by the time i could afford it.
every time i hear this song, naco, it brings tears to my eyes talaga.
esp. this one. hay naco.
happy birthday daddy. i miss you.